the horror, the horror

i was in checkers yesterday and was hit by some bad, very bad christmas carols. the kind that could be emanating from the grave of whitney houston. i’d even rather do boney m. after all boney m were cool until they got macerated by the shopping malls.

the cyclops declares that putting up christmas decorations early should be illegal. in fact he strongly feels that they should only go up the day before christmas. perhaps he wouldn’t feel as strongly about it if shops had a little more finesse and a little less ‘made in china’, for as we all know, less is more.

i know that each year i write about my christmas horrors, but obviously my influence as a blogger comes to nought. so it’s just me and you again! ho ho ho!

i’m not even going to write about distasteful consumerism, about waste or poverty. about excess and the poor shuddering environment. these are all so obvious, it’s the crassness, the brashness and insensitivity of it all that does my head in. the crude assault on the senses and oh lordy, lordy, lord, still 34 days of this!


are you following me?!

I deleted my Tumblr account when one day I was ‘followed’ by two porn sites. I admit that I should have know when ‘blackass’ appeared in the middle of the username, but helI, I  have an English Degree, I get irony. There was nothing ironic or metaphoric about that site though. Sadly no alliteration or punctuation either. The second was more subtle in the name, but less subtle in the imagery. You may be asking at this point why I even looked at their tumblr sites, but I’m the curious type, but hell no was I not prepared for transsexual porn. What ever colour your ass and whatever bits and pieces you have chosen to arrange on your body is fine with me, but If I want to see the gory bits I’d like it to be voluntary.

So, just in case I was worried about democracy I know now that there is something out there for everyone and if it was that easy for me then hey, we can educate the children as well. Super! Who needs to buy books that talk about what they don’t really talk about, when you can have it all at the touch of your small finger.

WordPress seems a little more innocuous. At the very worst you have the deadly unimaginative following you so that you can follow them, telling you how to make money or lose weight or how to be successful. Guess what? I don’t want to be successful. I just want to enjoy my family, draw silly pictures and surf.  Nor do I want to follow eating plans, earn money from my blog or get exercise tips.

Hmmm, actually on second thoughts, if you’d like to make a donation….